david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
