I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
