MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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