I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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