it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize