I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
