Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize