There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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