Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
