Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
