Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize