After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
