Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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