i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You can't special order awesome
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
