You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
