i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
