Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
