My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
