We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
