I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
