Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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