We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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