Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We got so high we made milksteak
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize