pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When are your genitals available?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
