Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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