Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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