I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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