I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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