just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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