I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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