I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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