I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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