goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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