i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
