This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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