i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
