but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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