the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize