I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
