I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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