Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize