It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
