Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
