I looked at my own cervix.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
