Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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