did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
