Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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