I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
