Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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