After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
