Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
