So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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