i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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