dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
