She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
