so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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