I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
