i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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