You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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