I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize