My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
