ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize