Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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