If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
