That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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