Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
where does the pee come out of this thing
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
