All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
