honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
