i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
COCAINE IS GR8
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
