You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
