Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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