sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
