OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
