there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
